Gaga Yan
I am a woman from a traditional Chinese family who began my journey into Western education at 14. This experience has placed me at the crossroads of two distinct cultures, shaping my view of societal norms. My upbringing emphasized ancient morals and family harmony, while Western education encouraged independent thinking and personal freedom. This clash often creates conflicts within my identity.
I feel like a surfer riding the waves between tradition and modernity, craving the pleasures of a secular life while struggling against societal expectations. Every attempt to find balance heightens my anxiety.
In this exploration, I am like Sisyphus, pushing a heavy boulder uphill to maintain my fairness and dignity. This boulder symbolizes my quest for self-definition and resistance to external pressures. Although the climb is endless, each effort brings me closer to my authentic self. I occasionally pause to reflect on my winding path, recognizing that this journey is transformative. Every moment of perseverance strengthens my resolve to pursue the ideal version of myself.
ARTIST STATEMENT
In my exploration of self-awareness, I realize that I have become imprisoned by a blind pursuit of rapid progress. This pursuit has caused me to lose joy and face endless anxiety and contradiction. I rush to seek definitions and answers that provide a sense of security, while neglecting my true inner feelings. In this fast-paced age, the filter bubbles created by social media trap me in a narrow cycle of thought.
To counter this, I choose to slow down and reconnect with simplicity. For me, simplicity means being free from societal moral constraints and no longer catering to others' expectations. I no longer define or summarize my actions; instead, I pursue inner joy and comfort.
My work aims to capture the most genuine reactions of the human heart while highlighting our basic physiological and psychological needs. Through the style of Neo-Expressionism, I strive to present the beauty and authenticity of these moments, inviting the audience to experience the lightness and liberation found in them. I explore real life experiences—those fleeting pleasures, much like the tranquility of a gentle touch or the relaxation and joy derived from intimacy and indulgence.
I recognize that while the pursuit of physical pleasure may temporarily allow for an escape from reality, it can also obscure deeper emotional conflicts. Therefore, my art is not only a celebration of fleeting pleasure but also a reflection on the mechanisms of escape. By delving into psychology and socio-cultural theories, I understand the profound connection between myself and the world, as well as my internal struggles. Though I feel exhausted from navigating the expectations of society, I choose to acknowledge these imperfections in my work. My ignorance does not serve as a burden; rather, it is a starting point for infinite possibilities.
I have come to see that the exploration of feminism and identity is not at odds with physical pleasure. In fact, they provide a rich intellectual foundation for my artistic practice, allowing me to more deeply understand and express my inner desires and struggles. I believe that the act of creating art is itself a journey of self-reflection and acceptance. Each piece I create reflects not only physical pleasure but also an exploration of personal identity, social recognition, and inner freedom.
I directly convey the oppression and influence faced by women in a patriarchal society, while also reflecting on my thoughts regarding the "male-pleasing" concept. I hope to establish a genuine connection with my audience, inspiring them to contemplate the relationship between self and society, and to bravely pursue their own truths and freedoms. For me, art is both an expression and a form of emotional healing. All of this will be documented in my diary. I hope that viewers, by observing my flaws and my evasion of reality, will provoke deep reflections on themselves and society.